Setbacks

October 10, 2017

Yesterday was a setback. I received some news that was very disappointing and upsetting. So, I proceeded to drown my sorrows in wine. 9 days down the drain. Now I will start over.

I must realize that there will always be things that come up. Life has disappointments. It is part of life. There is no way around it. But, there is a better way to handle it. I could have done better.

I will begin again with more experience and more determination.

October 16, 2017

Another setback. But, unlike the previous one, there was no devastating news, no disappointment. It was the end of a long week and I just wanted to have a drink. 

I honestly didn't give it a hard try. It was as if I watched myself going through the motions. I could almost hear a voice in my head screaming, "What are you doing?"

That scream fell on deaf ears though. And, I proceeded through Saturday and Sunday with more of the same. I went to bed early on Sunday to assure a full night's sleep. I took some melatonin to make sure I stayed asleep. I didn't want the alcoholic sleep where you wake up in a pool of sweat and then toss and turn unable to fall back asleep.

So, I am back to Day One. And, I want it to be Day One and not one day. I didn't realize the effort that this would take. I demonstrated that effort the first week. But, I must have become complacent, took my eyes off the goal, forgot my why's. Whatever. I am back.